I assume that you have heard of the story the
Velveteen Rabbit. If
you have not, it is the story of a little stuffed
bunny rabbit who
dreams of being Real. To his owner, a small boy, the
rabbit is
perceived to be Real, because the Boy loves him so
much. He gets
older and shabbier but is content with knowing the Boy
believes he is
a Real rabbit. When the boy falls ill with scarlet
fever and the
velveteen rabbit must be thrown away, a fairy comes
and tells him
that because of the boy's love for him, he could now
be turned into a
physically real rabbit.
Why I mention this tale I explain now: I am a junior
in high -
school, and one day during my semester exams I was
rather tired and
depressed. It had been a long, wearying week and I
needed to talk
with someone, anyone... just to get my mind off of the
tests, which I
was sure I had done poorly on.
So, after school, I walked down to the student
personnel services
office, and sat down with one of the counselors. He
was a real blast
to hang out with, and every student liked him. When we
began to
talk, I realized my heart really wasn't in the
conversation. My mind
wandered back to the exams... to a doctors appointment
I had the week
before -- anything but the cheerful subject we were
speaking of.
He paused in conversation and looked at me. We began
talking now of
more serious subjects: a few health problems that I
have, a fight I
had with my mother the day before -- things that were
bothering me.
After a few minutes of this, he asked me a very
strange question.
"Do you think you are real?"
I was taken aback. What could he possibly meant by
that? I pressed
him for an explanation, and what he said was
basically, he was
hearing all of the things that had an impact on me,
but really
didn't hear about things that I was taking part in or
making a
difference in. He likened it to the story of the
Velveteen Rabbit:
did i think that I was real to the people around me,
and most
importantly to myself.
To my surprise, I found it very hard to answer his
question
instantly or honestly. A few months later, and I am
still thinking
about it. It made me wonder that, if I couldn't tell
if I was "real"
or not, what other people believed about me.
It makes you think: Do you have enough of an effect on
the world
around you as you would like to?
