Ever since I was a little kid, I didn't want to be me.
I wanted to be like Billy Widdledon, and Billy Widdledon
didn't even like me. I walked like he walked; I talked like
he talked; and I signed up for the high school he signed up
Which was why Billy Widdledon changed. He began to hang
around Herby Vandeman; he walked like Herby Vandeman; he
talked like Herby Vandeman. He mixed me up! I began to walk
and talk like Billy Widdledon, who was walking and talking
like Herby Vandeman.
And then it dawned on me that Herby Vandeman walked and
talked like Joey Haverlin. And Joey Haverlin walked and
talked like Corky Sabinson.
So here I am walking and talking like Billy Widdledon's
imitation of Herby Vandeman's version of Joey Haverlin,
trying to walk and talk like Corky Sabinson. And who do you
think Corky Sabinson is always walking and talking like? Of
all people, Dopey Wellington - that little pest who walks
and talks like me!