I referred albums to the more modern eight tracks. Albums came with sleeves which reminded me of clean underwear. Plus, the pictures were bigger, making it easier to see each follicle of Tony Orlando's shiny arm hair.
("Running With Scissors")
More Quotes from Augusten Burroughs:
Other people sound flat to my ear; their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl.Augusten Burroughs
You deserve to need me, not to have me.
Augusten Burroughs
I missed him so much that I had physical sensations of loss, all over my body. Like one minute I was missing an arm, the next my spleen. It was making me feel sick, like throwing up.
Augusten Burroughs
But I can also write in crappy motel rooms, while standing in line, or sitting in the dentist's chair.
Augusten Burroughs
If we happened to be in rehearsal downstairs in my room and a neighbor padded across the lawn to rap gently on the window and ask us to please be more quiet, Natalie might simply lift up her skirt and mash her vagina against the window while extending her middle finger.
Augusten Burroughs
Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself.
Augusten Burroughs
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