I will please shut the hell up the day you please drop the hell dead
("Running With Scissors")
More Quotes from Augusten Burroughs:
I referred albums to the more modern eight tracks. Albums came with sleeves which reminded me of clean underwear. Plus, the pictures were bigger, making it easier to see each follicle of Tony Orlando's shiny arm hair.Augusten Burroughs
And I tend to listen to NPR when I'm not writing.
Augusten Burroughs
Before I'm a writer, I'm definitely a reader and when I read memoir, I really want it to be true.
Augusten Burroughs
When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not.
Augusten Burroughs
I wish I had a tray table in my bedroom and I wish I smoked, just so I could extinguish my smoking materials
Augusten Burroughs
Life would be fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white, PTA-meeting normal.
Augusten Burroughs
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