If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
I have a map of the United States ... actual size. It says, 'Scale 1 mile 1 mile' I spent last summer folding it.Steven Wright
Did you sleep well No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright
I like to torture my plants by watering them with ice cubes.
Steven Wright
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors.
Steven Wright
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat.
Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
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I grew up between the two world wars and received a rather solid general education, the kind middle class children enjoyed in a country whose educational system had its roots dating back to the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy.
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There's room for the Gap, but the joy of dressing is an art.
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