Call it crazy, or just chicken salad.
Call it crazy, or just chicken salad.
It was terrible and awful when someone left you. You could move on, do the best you could, but like Eli had said, an ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories led up to it, it would always have to have the last word.
Sometimes, you have to manufacture your own history. Give fate a push, so to speak.
But you only get so many do-overs in this life, so many chances to, if not change your past, alter your future.
I was so scared about being discovered, but nobody came. Nobody heard. In my own ears, though, my sobs sounded primal and scary, like something I would have turned off if I'd been able to.
People get mad Annabel. Its not the end of the world.
A lot can change between planning something and actually doing it. But maybe all that really matters is that anything is different at all.
Not everything's perfect, especially in the beginning. And its all right to have a little bit of regret every once in a while. It's when you feel it all the time and can't do anything about it... that's when you get into trouble
And I felt comfort. Finally. All I'd wanted for so long was for someone to explain everything that had happened to me in this same way. To label it neatly on a page: this leads to this leads to this. I knew, deep down, it was more complicated than that, but watching Jason, I was hopeful. He took the mess that was Macbeth and fixed it, and I had to wonder if he might, in some small way, be able to do the same for me. So I moved myself closer to him, and I'd been there ever since.
I was bored. Sad. Lonely. It was only a matter of time before I cracked.
Some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic.
Your actions is like a raindrop; it falls into the pond making ripples and then its over...
He'd always had that fearless optimism that made cynics like me squirm. I wondered if it was enough for both of us. I would never know from here, though. And time was passing. Crucial minutes and seconds, each one capable of changing everything.
In those first few hours officially single again the world seems like it expands, suddenly bigger and more vast now that you have to get through it alone.
The fate of your heart is your choice and no one else gets a vote
Eventually, it wasn't even your dad I wanted, just anybody. Anybody at all.
ItÆs still a memory worth having, even if itÆs not exactly what you imagined
Stuff that would be weird in the bright light of day just wasn't so much once you passed a certain hour.
Don't think or judge, just listen.
I wasn't ready for this, but then I probably never would be, and this year, like so much else, wouldn't wait. I had no choice but to get out of my car, with everyone watching and begin in earnest, alone. So I did
Pieces and parts were always easier to process. The full picture, the entire story, was another thing entirely. But you just never knew. Sometimes, people could surprise you.
At the same time, though, I was beginning to wonder if this was just how it was supposed to be for me, like perhaps I wasn't capable of having that many people in my life at any one time. My mom turned up, Nate walked away, one door opening as another clicked shut.
Only a weak person needed someone else around all the time.
And that was it. All this buildup to a great leap, and I didn't fall or fly. Instead I found myself back on the edge of the cliff, blinking, wondering if I'd ever jumped at all. It's not supposed to be like this.
If he'd been any other boy, and this was any other world, I would have kissed him. Nothing could have stopped me.
That was the hard thing about grief, and the grieving. They spoke another language, and the words we knew always fell short of what we wanted them to say.
And for one second, it was like I could feel the timing clicking together, finally pieces falling into place.
Her life was perfect. But as was often the case, the rest of us were still adjusting.
It passed, though. That was the bad thing. It always passed.
The fate of your heat is your choice and no one else gets a vote.
Everyone laughed, and just like that, the conversation shifted, jumping to another topic. It was fast and furious, the talking, the emotions, the back-and-forth and forth-and-back. I realized that if I tried to focus on it too much, I got overwhelmed. So I just decided to relax into it, bumpy and crazy as it might be, and try for once to just go along for the ride.
ItÆs the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth.
That first love. And the first one who breaks your heart. For me, they just happen to be the same person.
Even if you couldn't see it beneath the surface, molecules were bonding, energy pushing up slowly, as something worked do hare, all alone to grow.
I'd still thought that everything I thought about that night-the shame, the fear-would fade in time. But that hadn't happened. Instead, the things that I remembered, these little details, seemed to grow stronger, to the point where I could feel their weight in my chest. Nothing, however stuck with me more than the memory of stepping into that dark room and what I found there, and how the light then took that nightmare and made it real.
She knew I could tell with one glance, one look, one simple instant. It was her eyes. Despite the thick makeup, they were still dark-rimmed., haunted, and sad. Most of all though, they were familiar. The fact that we were in front of hundreds of strangers changed nothing at all. I'd spent a summer with those same eyes-scared, lost, confused-staring back at me. I would have known them anywhere.
But risk is just part of relationships. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.
Still, there was also was something reassuring about working for Commercial, almost hopeful. Like things that were lost could be found again. As we drove away, I always tried to imagine what it would be like to open your door to find something you had given up on.
As for me, I was just trying to get it right, whatever that means. But now I finally felt I was on my way. Everyone had a forever, but given a choice, this would be mine. The one that began in this moment, with Wes, in a kiss that took my breath away, then gave it back - leaving meastounded, amazed and most of all, alive.
If this was my forever, I wouldn't want to spend it here.
That was the thing about being on the inside: the world was just going on, even when it seemed like time for you had stopped for good.
And I felt a sudden whirl in my head, knowing this leap was inevitable, that I wasn't just standing on the cliff, toes poking over, but already in mid-air.
He's getting dumped. And he doesn't even know it yet. He's probably eating a cheeseburger or flossing or picking up his dry cleaning, and he has no idea. No inkling.
It seemed like this day could go in so many directions, like a spiderweb shooting out toward endless possibilities.
The lizard stared up at us, and we stared back, taking each other in. He was little and defenseless, I felt sorry for him already. This was a screwed-up place he'd just come into. But he didn't have to know that. Not yet, anyway. There in that room, where it was hot and cramped, the world probably still seemed small enough to manage.
He was the closest thing I'd ever had to something, or someone, that mattered. But in the end, close didn't count. You were either in, or you weren't.
It's still a memory worth having, even if it's not exactly what you imagined.
The truth was, I wasn't sure. But I wanted to keep believing people could change, and it was certainly easier to do so when you were in the midst of it.
Everything hurt. I closed my eyes, pressing my cheek to the street, and waited. What for, I didn't know. To be rescued. Or found. But no one came. All I'd ever thought I wanted was to be left alone. Until I was.
It hadn't even occured to me that somebody would believe mine.
© 2020 Inspirational Stories
© 2020 Inspirational Stories